If you are at all like me, you do not like being told
"Patience Is A Virtue" when you are in the middle of a 'crisis'
that is stretching your patience to the limit.
Nonetheless, patience is a virtue and one I certainly need to improve on.
Why am I prone to be so impatient in so many different situations? I think the primary answer is my tendency to being a perfectionist. And I think for any of us who struggle with impatience, the first step to overcoming the struggle is recognizing the cause or triggering factors.
Once we recognize the cause, we can develop a logical plan for a solution. For me the solution is changing attitudes and perspectives. And the steps to achieve these changed attitudes and perspectives are many.
My incorrect attitude is that everything should be done correctly and in a timely fashion. Well that is all well and good in a perfect world. But obviously we don't live in a perfect world so as much as I can aim for perfectionism in myself (and fail of course), I cannot realistically expect it from others. And it is the 'others' out there that are testing my patience.
I need realistic expectations of those around me or I am fighting an
uphill battle. My spouse, my children, my friends, my colleagues are all
wired differently. So, I can't expect each of them to do things the way I
do; and if I do, it will result in frustration and impatience.
Also, proper perspective keeps us focused on what really matters in this world
and in the process minimizes situations that will cause impatience. (Reminder to Self: "Don't sweat the small stuff") Furthermore, my perspective needs to change and recognize that the world is a lot bigger than just me and I don't have control over all of it. (Reminder to Self: "I am not God") I can only control my actions.
- Not the actions of the slow driver I am stuck behind when I am in a hurry.
- Not the tardy arrival of an important parcel in the mail.
- Not the flight delays at the airport due to bad weather.
- Not the sale of my house when the real estate market is slow.
So what practical steps can I take to be more patient in these and many other situations?
There are several things I try that help, as long as I remember to do them in the needed moment (that's the toughest part of all).
First, I pray because God is in control and can give me some of His patience that is never ending. I can also take some slow deep breaths, distract myself by reading. Singing always has a calming affect on me, writing in a journal (or blog) can be helpful as well.
A good thing to learn is to be a passive observer in situations that stretch our patience. This involves consciously observing situations without judging or forming an opinion. Instead of fuming with impatience at the airport with the extended delay, look around and acknowledge the situation without allowing it to annoy you. This obviously takes practice but is worth the effort.
Remember too that being patient with other people shows respect for them. And when we all respect each other, the world is a better and happier place.
Life is meant to be a beautiful journey, not a race. So slow down and enjoy the ride.
For every minute we are angry with impatience, we lose 60 seconds of happiness.
I'm thankful that God has enough patience for both of us and He loves to share.
Give Thanks!